ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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