Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
