And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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