omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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