no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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