I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
