I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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