Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
