Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As shirtless as possible
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
