If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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