She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
