I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
