we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
