and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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