Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
