We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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