The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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