Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
