You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
