lets start a swedish sibling band together
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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