we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
