I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
