If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize