i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
