I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
why is half of my head shaved?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize