Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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