dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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