I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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