she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we're making bets on your personal life
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
