Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
