perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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