Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
