what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
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Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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