what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
