Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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