She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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