Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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