some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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