I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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