please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
