ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
