I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
