you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
