Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
