even my farts smell like vagina
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
