dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
