And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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