Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How naked do you want me to be?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize