Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
