well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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