I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
