K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
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I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize