You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
